The Scientific Argument for Eating Whatever the Hell You Want This Thanksgiving

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By Tanner Garrity If any of the following actions describe you over this Thanksgiving, you should feel bad: 5. Drop a game-winning pass in the family football game4. Spill a bottle of wine on Grandma’s beige sweater3. Ask your nephew/niece if you can make a guest appearance on their TikTok2. Put on Christmas music before the ride home1. Acknowledge the existence of American politics If any of these actions describe you over this Thanksgiving, meanwhile, you shouldn’t feel bad:5. Head back for seconds on stuffing4. Have a cocktail, or six3. Annex the butter plate on behalf of your region of the…

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